Reminds me of this. 

I liked his style, and his cause seems to be a good one

 

Ah... an oldie but a goodie - we here in the colonies enjoy a hardy laugh - at the "mother" country

Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a bellybutton.  In its
place was a silver screw.  All the doctors told his mother there was
nothing they could do.

Like it or not, he was stuck with it...He was [slightly modified].

All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw the
screw made fun of him.  He avoided leaving his house...thus, never
made any friends.

One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a monk in
Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him.  He was thrilled. The
next day, he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to
Nepal.  After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a
giant monastery.  The monk knew exactly why he had come.  The screwy
guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the
following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.  The
man immediately went to the room and fell asleep.

During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open
window. In the mist floated a solid silver screwdriver. In just
moments, the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the
window.

The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying on
the pillow next to him.  Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there
was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed...And his butt fell
off.

The moral to this is:

'Don't screw around with things you don't understand -- You could lose
your ass.'

 

 

 

What did the Daddy buffalo say to his son heading of to college ?.
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Bison
 

 

 

 

 

I saw this one on ESPN...........

If Intelligence was Sunshine...

You'd be an eclipse ....

 

Oh yea... 

So a chicken and duck were standing by a road..... the duck looks at the chicken, the chicken looks back at the duck....... the stand a few more minutes, and the same thing happens..... the duck looks at the chicken and the chicken looks back............ again a few minutes pass and the duck looks at the chicken and the chicken looks back...... the duck starts to move across the road, and the chicken says STOP........ You'll never live it down

     

 

An Early Christmas Groaner...

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.  Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man said.  "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course," he replied, and walked on.
 
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!" to which the man quietly replied, "Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear."

 

 

 

Senior Pick-Up Line
 
 
A rather elderly gentleman, in his mid-eighties, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.  He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive after-shave, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel.  He presents a suave, well-looked-after image.  Seated at the bar is an elderly fine-looking ladyin her mid-seventies.  The gentleman walks over, sits along-side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, good looking... do I come here often?"

 

 

 

Best One Liner Ever.........https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VH4c0-p-CY&feature=youtu.be